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Opdracht null?
Dear future me, this is a letter from 2025, It’d be funny if I were to actually get this whilst I’d have forgotten about it, but knowing me, I’ll remember that I wrote this. Honestly, I find this a really fun exercise from school, which surprises me because I mostly dislike SLB exercises.
It’s tempting to linger in this moment, while every possibility still exists. But unless they are collapsed by an observer, they will never be more than possibilities.
It is interesting to think about all my future possibilities, all the possible paths that I could take, but If I don’t actively take one, they will never be more than possible outcomes. None will become real. I recently learned this from a very wise person that I admire. There are so many things I can choose from, will I go be a front-end developer, or maybe a backend-developer. What about a full stack developer? Or maybe a cyber-security specialist and a hacker. But what about the possibility of becoming and AI developer, yeah no, I will probably not take that path.
What will I have learned in the next 3 years? What will I have achieved? I am pretty sure that I will try to walk the path of cyber security, I hope that I will walk it fully without hesitation. I hope that I have put all my effort in finding out whether I would like to become a cyber security expert. I know myself, I know that with the work that get’s thrown at me is enough to drown my motivation for a while, I hope to have found a way to deal with that, a way to overcome it. I doubt that I’ll have much motivation left in my free time when I have a full time job if I did not manage to overcome this at school already. And the 3rd thing that I really hope to have achieved is to not be socially anxious anymore. I know that I am trying to improve this already, but I hope that I will succeed.
I expect multiple roadblocks in my way whilst studying the next 3 years. 1st of all I think that I’ll probably end up in a downwards spiral of motivation when I am on an internship, because this will inevitably happen when I have an internship that has more travel time than an hour. I have been there in the past and I know it will probably repeat. This is a serious issue that I could just try to avoid by trying to find an internship where I live, but I could also dive in the deep end to try and fix it for myself. The 2nd option would probably be better since the truth is that public transport sucks, and I will not have a car any time soon.
How will I deal with disappointments, mistakes and study delay? I would honestly be pretty devastated if I were to have study delay because I would probably see my actions as a failure, and because I really don’t want to wait longer to get a full time job. Assuming that I am still with my girlfriend, we’ll already be in a 5 year relationship by the time I am done with school, and I doubt that I would be happy waiting longer to be able to get married. Because yes, that is right now my only big goal that I have really set for myself and that I really want to achieve. And I’d probably also need to work for a few years to be able to even afford a house, which would mean that I’d probably be devastated with more delay. Dealing with other disappointments would be fine though, I have already had my fair share of them in the past with my MBO, so I’ll be able to deal with them.
Which strategies would I use to be able to motivate myself in hard times? That is really a funny question because I already talked about it maybe becoming a problem again, but I am pretty sure that I’ll be able to. In the past on an internship I didn’t really have anything that I wanted to learn, anything that I’d want to figure out. Right now I do have those, I want to learn rust, I want to get into using Arch Linux, I want to learn more front end frameworks, I want to try out electron. I want to get into cyber security, I want to be better socially, I have goals to achieve. These goals would be best to complete in the upcoming years, because I will still have a lot of time relatively speaking. And I have the tools to simply create when I have an idea, I have learned java, and am now able to just easily create Minecraft mods. These things all help with motivation. On my last 2 internships I didn’t have motivation, and that is probably because I only knew python, and php and Node js and angular. From which I used 2 of the 4 on my internship, and the others I dislike. I have learned a lot since then.
How will I try to remember the reasons for choosing this study? Well yeah that is a sensitive topic right now lol. I chose this because I was a big Nintendo fan, and my life goal was to make my own Mario game. Safe to say that I completed that goal in my 2nd year of high school with the help of the NSMB Editor. But by that time I already had chosen for a high school where I’d learn C-Sharp. At that same high school I met my best friend, the friend that invited me to his church where I fell in love with my girlfriend. So indirectly speaking, I’d have no friends, nor a girlfriend if it weren’t for Nintendo. Which sucks because of the scummy shit that that Nintendo is doing right now, I mean, have this website I found recently sadly exists: https://www.suedbynintendo.com/. But no it will not be hard for me to remember why I chose this, because literally everything in my life right now came because of this decision. I generally think about this often.
What will I (hopefully) be proud of when I will read this letter in 3 years? Probably to say that I have overcome my social issues, I hope that I am able to say that I have gotten good at communicating. I might already be better than some people at communicating, but not good enough. I want to be that guy from the company that you have to contact for all the bogus reasons, I want to be the guy that will just talk the boss into projects which I think will be better for the future. I want to be the guy that connects our company with other companies. But obviously that is not the only thing I hope to be proud of. I would be very proud if I could say that I am a cyber security geek, I would be proud If I did actually switch to Arch Linux. And I would be proud if I improved with my English. Because I know when a sentence that I have said or typed is wrong, but I cannot always come up with correct sentences beforehand, which makes speaking more difficult. And I would also have to say that I will be proud of any achievement, and that I am already proud for saying that I will join the Finland program because to be honest, it scares me.
What will I take with me from year 1? What will I keep doing that I have learned last year? That’d definitely be the reflecting, and the upgrading of my mindset. I went into this HBO just because the title of HBO is better at giving you a job than the title of MBO, and because I wanted more time for personal projects. But this year I learned that I am here to learn, I am here to gain experience and improve myself. Since then I have been trying to improve myself with things that aren’t school related either, I have been trying to fix my sleep habits, or replacing my smartphone with a flip phone to improve my time spending. I think that this is what people think about when they talk about that there is a difference in mindset between MBO and HBO, and honestly, this is the best thing that happened to me in the last year. (that an the video game Outer Wilds, but that is irrelevant for this letter) What will I do differently this year? That is a hard one, better time management I suppose? Didn’t really do that in the best way last year. And definitely the documentation side of things, I didn’t really do much with that last year, and to improve I should be doing more than just the minimal effort. What or who has helped you the most this year to keep going? Mostly just me trying to improve myself. The only reason why I do assignments is to make sure that I have done them well enough to delay my study, so indirectly also my girlfriend, like I have talked about before. And the presence of my friends also helps. Angel makes the annoying things way easier.
Well that is it I think, goodluck with your new life. I’d love to see the look on my future face when I realize that I will never have to use brightspace again. I hope that you will know what to do next, actually, I am certain that I will know what I should do right now. All I want to do is wish you goodluck :3
Oh, and let me know when porter releases his new album :3
Opdracht A
Ik heb besloten om mee te doen aan het programma om naar Finland te gaan.
| Type | Punten |
|---|---|
| rationeel | 55 |
| intuĂŻtief | 45 |
| vermijdend | 0 |
| afhankelijk | 0 |
| spontaan | 0 |
| Totaal | 100 |
Ik heb deze keuze vooral genomen omdat het een goede leer ervaring is, en omdat ik merkte dat ik er een standaard afkeur naar had. Ik wilde niet gaan want dit soort dingen zijn spannend / eng, en daarom heb ik er ook juist voor gekozen om het wel te doen.
Opdracht B
Welcome to my planning of this week. I honestly haven’t been planning like this, so I guess I am starting now. Take it or leave it xD
In general it is just this, but then more school and less work, and not a party on friday xD
| Activity | Motivation for it | |
|---|---|---|
| School | 2.5 | nut |
| Work | 2.5 | nut, externe druk |
| Church | 3 | waarde, nut, interesse |
| Visiting My girlfriend | 5 | plezier |
| Church youth group | 4.5 | waarde, nut, interesse |
| Parties | 4 | interne druk, plezier |
Ik hoef hier niet persee veel op aan te passen naar mijn mening. School kan ik alleen “leuk vinden” als het leuk is.